Cleveland Indians: I Totally Forgot They Signed Joba Chamberlain!

With all the offseason excitement–not in Cleveland though–we almost forgot that the Cleveland Indians signed Joba Chamberlain. Maybe this is the beginning of a strange story with a happy ending?

In the process of building a bullpen, sometimes a reliever will be acquired who’s a gamble, a signing the GM hopes will strike gold. You might pick up a faded former closer or some meandering journeyman and he’ll discover some old magic he once had or some new grip to make his go-to pitch killer, and suddenly become unhittable. Guys like Jeff Manship, unheralded and “Just Another Name” type of guys who suddenly post numbers thought to befit only gods. They’re usually fun signings for thinking of what could be. The Cleveland Indians did such a thing this winter and suddenly, somehow, Joba Chamberlain is in the Tribe system on a minor league deal. It’s like the beginnings of some bizarre dream come true.

When was the last time a player whose whole story is built around a single moment assigned to him by another team was signed by that selfsame team? Maybe Carlos Beltran, so immortalized for taking a curveball from Adam Wainwright while a Met in the 2006 NLCS then joining the Cardinals to go to the World Series, or Randy Johnson becoming a Yankee after killing that team in the 2001 Series.

Chamberlain was that phenom pitcher in 2007, unhittable with an absurd 1221 ERA+ in his short debut season. Then he got eaten by midges and collapsed against the Indians in the ALDS that year. From there he was very good from the ‘pen than mediocre as a starter, hurt his shoulder, got arm surgery, went to the Tigers and was bad, and briefly appeared on the Royals. Now he’s back where his career’s peak ended and the slow drag into mediocrity began.

The key when signing Chamberlain is knowing you can never count on him. He’s just not a super good pitcher. He throws pretty hard, peaking at 97 last year, and was brilliant once which matters for some reason. But he also struck out 22.4% of batters in 2014, his last full campaign. That’s not an attractive number for a reliever, who you want to just go in and mow someone down. He did force a decent 51.3% of batted balls into the ground, which would be ideal in this now-good defense in the Indians infield at the least. But judging from his time as a Tiger and several years prior, he does seem to get lit up in the most inopportune times. Perhaps that’s the fault of the manager, not knowing what situations to put Joba in, though Brad Ausmus could have believed in his reliever’s reputation instead of three years of subpar baseballing.

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Chamberlain is a fun signing, though, if only because he is one of those few that lets you know baseball really is an everyman’s game. You don’t have to be some super mutant athlete, just a kid who somehow can throw a baseball through a wall. That genetic lottery is what it’s about. He’s made himself a fortune, whatever he’s done with it is his deal, and he’s still a total schlub. He grows a beard like he stopped caring enough to shave and it works out beautifully. Surely he’s doing some kind of advanced grooming. He’s probably going to be caught napping in the bullpen at some point this July and the video of it will rip through the Internet.

He once coached the host of Man vs. Food through an eating challenge, so of all the complaints one might have of Chamberlain, it’s certainly not leadership. In the event he was to get called up, this is what should be hoped for – a veteran voice in the bullpen and the clubhouse that can inspire and motivate the others to dominate, like he did when a guy had to eat 15 pounds of fried beef or whatever. Perhaps beard grooming techniques, though he grows it like a wizard naturally. Intangibles are important.

He was once on “TruTV Presents: World’s Dumbest…” for being pulled over a few years back. What this says is that he is the best at something, or at least, the one of the best in the world. Sure, it’s for being a dumbass, but still, having a superlative player on your team can only help out. In this case, it’s one of those “Don’t be like this guy” things. The Indians have a lot of young guys on the way that will make or break the future of the club for the next decade, so it’s good to have a cautionary tale hanging around. They could just hire him as a janitor if that were the case, though.

Next: Winter musings on Chisenhall

In terms of actual baseball, there is no real risk at all. If Chamberlain is bad, he won’t see Cleveland because it’s just a minor league deal. There’s a fear I feel off in the distance that somehow he’ll perform well enough or there will be an injury to someone or a doubleheader, and he’ll make the team then give up a massive home run to Miguel Cabrera or, even worse, Justin Upton to win a game. There’s a nonzero chance that could happen, my least favorite probability because it’s so unpredictable. Best case, Chamberlain never ends up on the Indians.  If everything breaks exactly right, though, the Indians might just have a fun new piece in Terry Francona’s favorite place, and be one more small step towards a championship. Or at least  consistent defeat of the Tigers.