“I Got a Lot of Problems With You People!”

Ed Carroll — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 18:10:16 +0000

On behalf of Deep Left Field, I’d like to wish you all a Happy Festivus! More information on Festivus can be found here, but it’s basically a holiday that gets away from the commercialism and consumerism of Christmas. It was made famous by the show Seinfeld, as George’s father celebrated the holiday.

One of the tenants of Festivus is the airing of grievances, where you tell someone how they wronged you in the past year or however long it’s been since you last saw them. I thought it’d be a good idea to air my grievances against the Indians, and I got Mandy and Marc to join in on the fun. One thing you should know about grievances: they must be somewhat constructive.

Mandy’s Grievances

1) The Indians office staff might have lowered ticket prices, but the parking garage fees and food costs are as high as ever.

2) There are no marquee players. I’m not saying sign a lot of expensive free agents, but one or two would make a difference.

3) I know it’s been several years, but I miss the old name. To me, it’s still, and will always be, The Jake.

Marc’s Grievances

1) I may sound like a broken record, but if they can have $3 beer at Snowdays, they can have some $3 beer specials at games (just once a month!)

2) Luis Valbuena is not a major league player. Or a minor league player.

3) Enough subtle jersey changes, do something flashy to get some attention.

4) Travis Fryman is in the system, make him play third.

5) Five-hole is a hockey term, it shouldn’t be able to describe our situation at third base.

Ed’s Grievences

1) To Ryan Kalish. I know you’re not a member of the Indians, but I have a serious problem with the slide you put into Carlos Santana that wrecked his rookie season. You’re a big league player, slide like one.

2) To the ushers at Progressive Field. I don’t care if my ticket says upper reserved and I’m sitting in the field box seats on the lower level. There’s no one in the stadium! I should be allowed to sit wherever I want due to my unwavering support of this team. Stop kicking me out of my jacked seat.

3) To the commentators on Indians.com and Yahoo! Sports. Yes, Larry Dolan does not have as much money as the Yankees. No, the Indians aren’t going to sign a big name free agent this year. Get over it. You’re posting your ignorance to the rest of the world.

4) To whoever sets the concession stand prices. $1.25 for a cup of cheese for my pretzel? Eff off.

5) To Eric Wedge. There’s a bunch of stuff you did, but right now I’m just mad at you for not giving Andy Marte a chance to develop and for running Brandon Phillips out of town, as those are two HUGE holes on this team.

We at DLF hope you have a great and joyous Festivus and other holidays. If you have a grievance, leave it in the comment section. We’d love to hear from you!

"I got a lot of problems with you people!"

Wahoo's on First » Travis Fryman

“I Got a Lot of Problems With You People!”